Why I hate my kitchen: A short photo essay

The counters are for shit. The day I moved in 16 years ago I put a box on the island and shoved it to make room for more and made this scratch, which has taunted me every day since.

Living in a condo building you're bound to deal with water issues. We have had many. The ceiling is nasty and I couldn't even bring myself to take a photo of what's lurking under the sink. But it is E-vil. Like the fru-its of the dev-il.

I actually love the backsplash, which is hand-painted and hand-fired tiles of the Chinese zodiac. Sadly they can't be kept, but I've asked that Mr. Pig Butt there be salvaged if it's at all possible. Meanwhile, cast an eye at those horrifying outlets.

Over the years water from the sink and dishwasher have caused the shitty counters to warp and sink, to the point where the counter is now being held up by sheer stubbornness.

I have worked hard to not see this. For a while now.

The cabinets are fine. By some miracle they're not falling apart, but they're ridiculously difficult. We are switching to deep drawers so we will no longer have to drag all the pots and pans onto the floor just to get to the pasta pot in the very back.

Here's a final Before shot, with nearly everything now moved into the bedroom.

And the chaos has begun. The workers came over this morning to talk about the project and then brought their demo materials up. Demo starts tomorrow!

Bring on the chaos!!